Chapel of Tears and Burning Lungs

Instead of going to church on Sunday the Navy felt it more important for me to worship at the Chapel of Tears and Burning Lungs. The Navy calls it the "Confidence Chamber" although to me it looks more like a tent with an all too familiar white smoke emanating from the entrance.

Whoever first coined the phrase "Confidence Chamber" had an ironic sense of humor. Before we are even allowed to enter this "Holy of Holies" we must first be indoctrinated in the intricacies of chemical and biological warfare, and in the use of our gas masks and outfits. Then we don our "Religious Garments" while one of the instructors lights off an "Incense Candle". We enter twelve or so at a time, do some exercises and then we're told to remove our masks one at a time. The instructor then asks a question to which we can only hope to have the right answer.

Of course I wasn't so lucky.

He asked me: "A snake bite is an example of which: A chemical attack or a biological attack?"

Funny how the instructor failed to cover that in the classroom.

"Biological?" I quickly answered. Maybe too quickly.

"Are you sure?"

"No, you're right, chemical," I guessed again.

"You're sure?"

"No, I don't know, It's whatever you want it to be!" I gasped. Remember, this whole exchange took place while my mask was off and as I was breathing in that noxious gas. And it burns!

He finally let me off the hook and ushered me out of the tent. When I got a glance through my tears at the other instructor waiting for me on the other side my sinful nature took over and I began chasing him in an attempt to give him a hug. No, it wasn't out of a sense of relief that I did this but because I was trying to get him to experience the same burning eyes and lungs I was. I never caught him but it was well worth seeing the look of horror on his face.

I know I've gone into some detail on Sunday's events but it was the highlight of my week and I wanted to share it with you all. I would share with you the events of Monday through Saturday as well but sense I don't want to relive it, I think I'll just let it pass.

Friends, I know it has been a while since I last posted but I've been incredibly busy. On average I've been getting done for the day around 9 p.m., sometimes as late 11. But I can't complain; the process has been much smoother than last time, we have a good officer corps and a group of chiefs I wish we had had with Alpha (this rotation is called Golf). All said and done I would have to say it is much better than we deserve. Until next time....