A Trying Week

The holidays passed without much fanfare. Regardless, they did serve as an important landmark for me whereas as of 31 December I will have been deployed for 107 days. In my mind we have not yet reached the point of counting down the days remaining on our orders so instead I continue to count up. Our orders are written for 270 days so the half-way point, by my estimate, would be 28 January. Almost there!

I was over-joyed to receive mail from the Olsen family, the Powers & the care package that the DeVidal's put together for the troops. All my friends here enjoy the artwork & the sweets; however, I haven't been able to interest them in the toothpaste or toothbrushes. I'm sure Chris & Jerod would be happy to know that, yes, I have successfully passed out the Gospel tracts. Unfortunately I don't think anyone has read them; I think they accepted & promised to read them just to appease me. And, as always, thanks to my immediate family for keeping the packages with books, sweets & other necessities coming down-range.

My experience here in Kuwait (NOT Iraq) continues to be, at times, a painful character-builder. I'm happy when a ship is in-port, because it means we have a purpose that must be fulfilled, & there was an abundance of them this past month. But woe to us on the vessel team when there are no ships in-port & nothing to do! Because when there is nothing to do not only does time slow down but also higher headquarters company (HHC) finds something for us to do, & it's usually something I like to call "busy work".

Now, we all know what "busy work" is: It's those meaningless chores that has nothing to do at all with the mission either directly or indirectly but is reserved by the military for the sole purpose of giving the troops something to do when there is really nothing to be done. You see, it would go against the nature of all military commanders to allow their troops more than a day or two off at one time unless they are on authorized leave or R & R. To wit, we, being the vessel team, have been assigned 55-gallon drums to paint, Third Country Nationals (TCN's) to escort, quarterdeck & dining facility (D-FAC) watches & equipment on which to train. I, personally, have been assigned to a D-FAC watch & a Kalmar RT-240 Rough-Terrain Container Handler (RATCH) on which to qualify as a driver.

No, no, no! Don't laugh. It gets even better.

When I challenged a chief petty officer & an officer on the matter of painting drums I was told, "Eddy, we don't care how many drums you paint in four months [the remainder of the deployment]. You could paint just one or all of them for all we care!" Talk about taking the wind out of the sails of my anger, which only served to anger me all the more. They weren't supposed to tell me that, at least that's not how the conversation played itself out in my mind. What were they thinking by not going along with the script I had already written for them? How humiliating!

Later on that same day I was given a spreadsheet of our assignments for the week. Of course, according to the spreadsheet, I was to have nothing to do with painting those drums. Instead, I was assigned to learning how to operate a RATCH with two fellow shipmates as my instructors. (Two teachers for one student? Nevermind, I won't even go there....) Now I was really sinning in my anger. In fact, I was quickly becoming the chief of sinners, not that I wasn't already. I wanted to paint those drums, darn it, so I could justify my sin (anger) all the more. Now I was looking more the fool.

What makes this situation even worse is the over-all sin I was feeding. That sin is pride. In my mind I had convinced myself that I deserved better & that I was above all this. I am a Christian, for Pete's sake, a follower of Christ! Here I am reading books like "The Discipline of Grace" & "The Pursuit of Godliness" & yet I have no grace or Godliness in me. I am being the worst possible picture of Christ for the world to view & yet I had pridefully set in my heart to concentrate on all things Christian & to become apathetic to all things Navy. I had convinced myself that by becoming more righteous, as I saw it, I was taking the high road in the matter when in deed I was using my self-righteousness to feed my pride. Maybe those to whom I had given those Gospel tracts saw that in me & so decided to throw them away as a result.

Whether I want to admit it or not I am a leader. By my words & actions I can either lead people to Christ or consign them to the pit of Hell. I fear that my actions over the course of the past week has done more of the latter than the former. Especially since, as I have also been forced to learn this past week, that I am one of the few people in this unit to be held in high regard by most everyone.

Originally, I had planned to go in a completely different direction with this entry but for whatever reason I didn't. Maybe sometime in the near future, the Lord permitting, I'll be able to broach that subject.

So, until next time....